So today the room got cleaned out enough to put the beds up. But yet we still do not get to sleep in them and are still in the van....It sucks. But with Charlotte things that really suck, dont suck to much.

My mom is the strangest of all the animals in the world. Her personality and her ability to forget her own horrible past but hold tight and make up stories on others is simply fascinated. And then there is the Cunt or Cousin Cindy who seems to be a self centered child who cares not for her own children.

Honestly I simply wish I am to never become like either of them.

Things are really weird right now.


So there is this show on tv.... The relationship between the main characters remind me so much of me and one of my sisters...The only problem is that I keep relating to the character that would be my sister..... I feel so bad for the things I have done. I know I would go back and change them if I could, the problem is I cant.

I know the past can never be forgotten and I know that with time they can be changed with in a mind....

I just wish that, that, I dont know it could all be forgotten, but I do not believe one can Forgive and Forget and I am just happy to have been forgiven. Honestly I wouldn't have forgiven myself, I still have not.

Perhaps I never will, but since I cant forgive, can other people truly?