There is so much going on I dont even know where to start.

Lets start with the way I am feeling. Life is just pointless, hopeless. Sometimes I just feel so lifeless. Perhaps there is truly just no hope, no light at the end of this ever so long tunnel. I mean really I use to believe this one thing true and that was this.
"If you are still breathing then your life mission is not over with."

But what if you feel totaly lifeless and dead inside does that still count?

No wait this is all just stupid things talking but still I cant deny that I feel this way.


On to other stuff....

We moved from the house. Sad but true, god how I hate moving. I never want to do it again. Right now we are camped out side Amanda's house in the van. I love the van. Me and Charlotte are doing great together which is really nice because well. I missed being her friend for a long time.

We arent quiet sure where we are going next or what we are going to do. I know we are going to be going back to Eastern Oregon for a while to stay with Kim which will be interesting.

I found out that Thelma Gish passed away last October.

I know that she was my father's mother and that I never really got to know her. But still I feel a sorta of sadness. When I was in the 7th grade I got a hold of her number and we did talk for a while on the phone for a couple of months and it was nice. I would never go as far as calling her grandma or holding her in the same boat that I hold my Grandma Jane. But still I feel so sad, i dont know why.

Mary Gish, my umm no not my. I have 2.5 sisters. (I only count Jessica half the time) I honestly dont need any more. So I guess what I am trying to say is Mary, Thomas Gish's daughter wants to get to know. I am unsure how I feel about that or if I honestly want to get to know her. It would really just be weird. But I did see a picture of her, its kinda like me but with out the freckles which is funny.

I am not really sure how I feel about any of the Gish family other then the one person that I did kinda know died and that makes me just feel weird and sad.

But I think Charlotte really wants to go to bed and the dogs are barking.

I will probably write more later I think.